Dog Proofing not Proof Reading.... the Best Guide Dog in the World
It seems that preparations for my arrival have started in earnest. I may not even be born yet, but my new keeper has been busy, shopping for paraphernalia that will stop me escaping from the back garden and becoming mincemeat beneath the wheels of cars meant to only be doing 20 mph in that neighbourhood. Oh yes, I may be no more than a paw print in my mum and dad’s eye at the moment, but I’ve researched the area and I can’t wait to live there.
Let me explain. I don’t have a name yet. I don’t know what colour I am nor what percentage of Labrador or retriever I’ll be yet, but I know I’m going to be female (my new keeper has requested that; she doesn’t want to have to deal with male doggie bits) and I know I’m important. Because I know I’m going to grow up to be the best guide dog in the whole world. I know this because my new keeper is determined that’s going to be the case. She doesn’t know yet what havoc I’m set to cause on our journey to that point. How I’ll cry for my mum on my first night at my new home. How I’ll have accidents on my way to the outside toilet. How I’ll have teeth like needles and chew everything in sight. She just thinks I’m going to be a bundle of joy and someone to talk to while she sits doing this proofreading stuff she’s set on doing in her ‘spare’ time. I have other plans, and she's going to have to be pretty organised to make sure I don't just take over her whole life.
So, while I’m in the process of being created, she’s there buying stakes and chicken wire and gates and catches and building walls out of stones to keep me out of trouble. From where I am in the ether, I heard the yelp when she bashed her index finger with the lump hammer, trying to drive a stake into the hedge. I understand the swelling is going down, but the bruising is still there, turning her digit green. Yesterday, it took her 2 hours to fix a gate post onto the wall. I can't wait to hear how hanging the gate is going to go. And if it's not fixed securely and all gaps filled, I will escape - that's my job!
This little package arrived today, sent by my keeper's supervisor:
She's got a lot to take in before I get delivered about how to look after me properly and make sure I'm well fed and treated in the manner to which I need to become accustomed. She's been told not to feed me her toast at breakfast.... we'll soon see to that! I am planning on having the most irresistible puppy dog eyes that will melt even her hard heart! And if she thinks I'm going to wait till she's blown that whistle 3 times before I can have my meal, she's got another thing coming!
So, watch out, Sheffield. There will soon be a new dog in town. You can follow my exploits here. When my keeper isn't proofreading or dog proofing. Woof woof!
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