Doggie Blog 4: The Best Guide Dog in the World....

What's in a Name?

No, not Cagney and Lacey. They’re old time detectives, silly. Disney and Lacey. They're my parents. My proud mum and dad. My keeper knows their names now but she doesn’t know mine. I won’t know my name until she starts calling me it, but she'll be told the week before. That’s the week before the 6th February. My planned delivery date. I’ve already been delivered into the world, but that’s the date they plan to deliver me to her. The Word Smith. And leave me with her for a whole year. I know she’s praying I’m not called after my Dad. I don’t think she fancies standing in the park and calling for Disney, but just like me, she’ll get what I’m given and she knows that, for all her protestations. Until then I'm simply answering to anything that sounds like 'food' or a woof from my mum. She's blonde, like Cagney here. Hey, wait a minute... why is she named after the brown topped one? I'm golden, too. Pure gold, in fact. Golden, and gorgeous. As she'll soon find out.

Word Smith had her teeth cleaned the other day, and when she was there she cleared being able to take me along to the dental surgery when she has her check-up in June. So long as they don't try to put that drill thing in my canine mouth that's ok with me. I'll melt the heart of those hard hearted, world weary receptionists, you mark my barks. I'm already practising with my puppy dog eyes. I find a coy cock of the head is pretty good too at getting my current keeper to give me a quick cuddle before putting me back in with my siblings for a sleep. These humans are so easy to manipulate. Even when I had a little accident in my bed the other day, I was just given a pat on the head and everything was cleaned up; I didn't have to lift a paw.

Word Smith might be good with words, but she isn’t too good with numbers and particularly fractions. She told a friend of hers that I was ¾ Labrador and ¾ retriever. Well, I know I’m all dog, but, really, I’m not sure how I can be one and a half dogs on 4 square paws! As it happens, my maths is better than hers because I’m ¾ golden retriever and ¼ of the other, which makes me far superior in my opinion. Maybe if she's so rubbish at adding up, she'll get my food portions all wrong and give me more than she should! And maybe she'll think it's 5 minutes walk per day of life and not per month and take me on lovely long jaunts into the Derbyshire countryside as soon as I arrive; I quite fancy that Burbage Edge place. I can but have doggie dreams. To be honest, she's got so much calculating to do, she's bound to get some of it wrong - I mean, you've seen the folder she's been given haven't you? Haven't you? It's like a distance learning module for an Open University degree. Or so I've been told... my puppy brain can't take all that in at the moment. So long as she keeps me warm and safe, that's all I care about.

Thankfully the Word Smith obviously has intentions in that direction. My doggie radar tells me she was in the pet shop yesterday, fawning over the dog beds. I was sending subliminal messages to buy the fleecy throw the colour of my coat on one side and an appropriately regal purple on the other, but she decided that £35 was human priced and she went for the more bargain one in the picture eventually. The one with doggie paws on it Ha! Soon, everything will have doggie paws all over it so why she wants them printed on I'll never know - I'll soon be providing them for free! But I suppose It’ll have to do for now. I’ll work on her some more when I get to live there and she’ll be putty in my paws and will be spending her hard won pennies on all manner of treats for me. Well, she wants me to be The Best Guide Dog in the World. That means I must have some creature comforts. Better start making a list.......not long now!

Woof woof till next time.